Forty Years

For forty years you’ve been so close,
A big part of my life.
I couldn't survive without you,
But the way you treat me isn’t right.

I never have been good enough,
Or worthy in your view.
You destroy me at every opportunity,
No matter what I do.

You say I’m too fat, too thin, too ugly,
A failure in every way.
The way you talk about me;
It’s a wonder that you stay.

If I dare to feel some happiness,
You rush in at full speed.
To remind me of my worthlessness,
My insecurities to feed.

Now, the solution should be easy,
Just remove you from my life:
Cut the negativity,
That fills my world with strife.

But tell me this, ‘cos I need to know:
How do I walk away?
How do I cut the chords
That offer up my soul as prey?

How do I begin to remove the source,
Of all my endless pain?
When the negativity that haunts me
Is residing in my brain?